Kick Cat's
by King Zoe
Summary: Also in this, a little language. Meet chibi princess Arnica


Author's note: I do not approve of animal abuse. I think it is among the most despicable acts a human can commit. However, this is based on the true story of my best friend, Arnica, while she was in a church yard as a baby. No animals were harmed in the making of this film, or in the making of the memory. Really, how much damage can a toddler do while chasing some stray around a church yard?  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story except Zoë. Arnica and Aberi belong to Arnica. All others belong to their own creative and corporate sponsors. Please don't sue me. I'm about to be a freshman in college. I own nothing worth taking.  
  
Kick Cat's Ass  
  
Ooff! Arnica fell, flat on her 18 month old bottom. She sniffed - it hurt! - but caught herself before she started to cry. She knew she wasn't supposed to be here. The young princess grinned. Arnica had finally found her way to Neo-Queen Serenity's court, all by herself. True, she was a little young to teleport, but that didn't matter. She'd hitched a ride when Mama went to see Serenity and... Here she was.  
  
She glanced around the palace of Crystal Tokyo. It was so big! A lot bigger than her. 'I can't wait to tell Zoë,' she thought. Arnica struggled to her feet and took a few halting steps in one direction. She'd nearly reached a door when she lost her balance and fell, back on her well diapered behind.  
  
Arnica sighed. She was only 11 months, and her legs refused to stay underneath her all the time. She wobbled again to a standing position, reaching out a hand to catch herself before she fell again.  
  
A black shape darted under her groping fingers, giving her support, and keeping her from landing again on her bottom. Arnica's hand passed along the fur of the creature holding her up, fist wrapping lightly around its long black tail before releasing it.  
  
"Sof' kee-kee," Arnica murmured. She stopped, frowning. "No," she said clearly. "Soft kee-kee." Slurring was for babies, and Arnica wasn't a baby. She was a big girl. Mama said so all the time. She turned the cat's face towards her. Her eyes widened as she saw the crescent moon mark on its forehead. 'I've seen this kitty,' Arnica thought. 'She found her way into Uncle Neffy's castle once.' The princess giggled remembering her "uncle's" reaction to the black cat appearing in his room.  
  
  
*"If that mother-fucking cat does not get its ever-loving ass out of my castle I will kick its god-forsaken ass from here to tomorrow! Jesus H. Christ on a sidecar in lipstick and red stilettos, what does a guy have to do around here to get some peace!" Nephrite roared. He raised a foot, preparing to carry out his threat. Queen Serenity's feline advisor looked at Nephrite with eyes widened, and beat a hasty retreat, back to her own universe.  
  
"Right..." Nephrite mumbled, going back to his drink as though he had not just threatened the health and safety of the Neo-Queen's favorite pet.*  
  
  
Arnica grinned. She didn't need help standing anymore, and it Uncle Neffy could do it, so could Arnica. She lifted one foot, and connected it with the tail end of the black cat, causing Luna to sprawl out on her face, and Arnica to fall back on her bottom. She scrambled to her feet again.  
  
"Kick cat's ass," she mumbled, repeating her performance.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Neo-Queen Serenity looked up in surprise as her advisor came sailing through the door to the throne room, and landed on her face. Luna was immediately followed by an 18 month old Arnica, who muttered "Kick cat's ass," before doing just that, and promptly falling on her own. Arnica tottered to her feet and repeated her abuse of Luna's tail end. "Kick cat's ass, kick cat's ass, kick..."  
  
Serenity looked at the baby with a shocked expression on her face.  
  
"Don't look at me," Aberi muttered. "I think she gets it from Zoisite or Kunzite. She stays with Zoë often enough." The High Queen of the Dark Kingdom scooped up her daughter, rescuing Luna. The princess pouted as her mother dragged her away from her game of "Let's use Luna as a target."  
  
Serenity smiled at the baby. "She probably thinks she's so clever, wandering away from you like that."  
  
"Mhm. I saw Luna and I knew she'd keep an eye on Arnica. I didn't think Arnica'd play 'Target Practice' on her."  
  
They both glanced down at the child.  
  
Arnica laughed. "Kick cat's ass." Her foot connected hard with Artemis, who had wandered too close to the young princess...  
  
Finis.  



End file.
